Sobreity of distance

Brace yourself, I'm going to wax philosophic, with a touch of whiny emotion.

In this world of the new, in the wild river of the unfamiliar, I instinctively reached out and grabbed what I could. I looked for a rock, and found that most were too slippery grab, and some were jagged, only offering razor sharp handholds that would do more harm than good. As I was swept downstream, as my family, my home faded in the haze and distance, I found something to grab onto. It wasn't a rock, or a low hanging tree straining the river's surface. Rather, it was another hand, then another and another, all reaching frantically for something familiar, just as I was. I wasn't alone in the river, there were others in my same predicament; we had never known we were neighbors before, but looking at our past lives retreating on the same upstream horizon, we realized how similar we are. Instead of grabbing on to a rock, or swimming for shore, we created a human raft, a series of bonds that gave us strength as we navigated the holes and the hydraulics of the river of change. Once we had each other's strength, we could lift our heads above the froth of the waves and see the beauty around us. We started laughing, and enjoying the ride, even when the ride was painful, even when the journey was frightening.

Now that we have have navigated the first section of that river, the first rapids behind us, we've drifted into a large pool. This river of change has dumped us into a calm, but ahead there are more rapids. The river has spilt, though, and no longer runs as a single channel; a variety of separate waterfalls await us. We know we must split up, the hands must let go, but our voices will carry across the seperate rivers valleys. Our journeys will be more, although not entirely, individual. We'll drop each other's hands, but the support will not disappear, it will just be different.

And now we'll return to reality...

Joining the PC, and making my way to staging, was an ENORMOUS change for me. Never before, not even my departure to college life, involved such change. I left my family, my friends, my routines behind. Everything that I loved was back home, and in front of me was a cacophony of new-ness. When I arrived in China, roughly 8 weeks ago, everything was different. Actually, when I arrived in San Francisco for staging, everything was different. By the time I made it to China, things had begun to normalize. After 7 (or so) weeks at PST, I've gotten lax. I have grown accustomed to the food, the company, and even the minor pains are relatively comforting in the regularity. Most of all, I have found great comfort in being able to run to my American friends for support, camaraderie, and activities. Its great to be frustrated and sit around with 19 of your best friends, bitching about the same thing as you live in a alien world. Unfortunately, that all will change.

My site visit has shown me just how large China can be, especially for the ground traveler. The friends I have made during PST, all my folks at CDU, and the others at the other campuses, will be split up. We can visit each other, and the promises fly now; the validity phrases like "I'll see you at Christmas" and "At some point I'll travel to your site" will be tested. It is sobering to know that the friends I have made will be so far, so distant. I mean, really, traveling by bus and train from the northern most site to the southern, one would need at least 60 hours to make a one way trip.

I will try to see as many of my friends as I can. I will remember how great you all have to me. Without each other, who knows where we'd be.